So many of you know that I'm struggling with depression to some extent. Those of you who don't, hi, I'm Baylor. And I've been in kind of a weird blue funk tonight, and it was bugging the shit out of me because I couldn't see WHY I would be like that. I feel like I'm on a pretty good streak right now (note to self, recover the Basement Batman I'm missing), talking to pretty girls left and right, talking more with good friends and leaving shitty ones behind, and I'm going back to Norman in less than a month. Shit, there was a good half hour period when I was trying to listen to a STWT and my little brother and dad were SO FUCKING LOUD that I had to stop until they shut the fuck up for a minute so I could finish it, and I just got so angry. I mean, I acknowledge that where my computer is is a terrible spot for trying to do ANYTHING without interruption, but I like to think my headphones are pretty good.
A few hours later, I was playing Borderlands with Taffy himself but I just wasn't really enjoying it, which sucks because it's SUCH a fun game. Maybe I'll make sure that we're actually communicating on voice chat next time. I mean, I did an entire playthrough with Maya by myself but had a blast the entire time, my Zer0 file with Blake has been just a shitton of fun. I didn't know what was up.
And then it hit. Depression don't give a FUCK if you're doing well or you think you're doing well, it comes down on you without warning and without mercy and just beats you until you feel like shit and you think "Hey, maybe it's a good idea to text that one girl who treated you like shit because you wanted to sleep with her that one time." And then when part of me went "No, that's an atrocious idea," that first part of me went "Dude, no, just go buy some alcohol and you can blame it on that!" and I just went "Seriously brain? This is what you're going for?" And that's about when, on the timeline, it hit me that it was just depression fucking with me and I shouldn't pay it any mind. I should just go back to playing Isaac (if the little sack of shit would run at full speed, but nooo I had to get an AMD processor) and listen to prog metal.
Are you still reading this? Why? There wasn't a moral here.
Well. Maybe I'll go get some alcohol. I still want to try Mike's Hard Lemonade. Maybe THAT'S the moral, really sweet alcohol is good. I like that moral.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Video games as an artistic medium
So I'm reading the new issue of Game Informer when I come to the article asking "Why have gaming companies recently been using live-action commercials? Isn't the in-game action, which is often really fucking cool, good enough to attract new customers?" They raised the point that people who are going to be looking for the very specific gameplay elements that such a trailer would show aren't exactly looking for new games to play from TV ads; they're online looking at gameplay videos, playing demos, chatting with their friends about what they've heard or played. And I think that's fair. We're not the target audience for those TV spots. And as much as I've come to loathe Call of Duty in the last three years, I'll give them that the trailer with all those big-name actors is pretty goddamn appealing, so I see their point.
But then I came across this gem of a line and I had to stop and revive this blog that hasn't been touched in a year: "Video games sometimes take hours to slowly develop a bond between the player and the character. The nature of the medium allows for such an elongated process. Live-action film, on the other hand, allows viewers to invest in characters at a much faster pace. For this reason, filmmakers are better suited to create media where viewers can quickly connect to a character."
And I can't tell you how upset I am at reading those words. Those words, penned by an employee of a fucking gaming magazine, is telling the reader that video games are not as good as their contemporary counterparts. I'm being told that jumping on top of a goddamn Brute and punching his brains out is not as evocative as watching Kat get blown up by a Covenant grenade and lie on the ground with part of the visor on her helmet blown out. I'm being told that watching Elder Scrolls Guy walk through a town to have a giant CGI dragon land in front of him and roar at him is more gripping than killing that very same dragon with nothing but my sword and shield (this one is actually true, by the way, Bethesda games are boring as shit). For all of Capcom's faults, they at least did SOMETHING right with Resident Evil 6 when they used footage from the game for all their trailers.
Is it any wonder why video games are still a joke in adult society? We have industry fucking standards like Microsoft employee Frank O'Connor, who I am ashamed to hear has been with the Halo franchise since its inception, espousing such undermining values. I've long held the belief that video games are the ULTIMATE in art, combining every form you can imagine (traditional art, music, cinematography, storytelling, etc.) and then making it interactive. What are we as gamers supposed to do when our passion, our lifeblood, is playing second fiddle to a lesser form of itself? Do you want to know how to sell Bioshock Infinite? Not with a couple square miles of green screen and shitty CGI.
But then I came across this gem of a line and I had to stop and revive this blog that hasn't been touched in a year: "Video games sometimes take hours to slowly develop a bond between the player and the character. The nature of the medium allows for such an elongated process. Live-action film, on the other hand, allows viewers to invest in characters at a much faster pace. For this reason, filmmakers are better suited to create media where viewers can quickly connect to a character."
And I can't tell you how upset I am at reading those words. Those words, penned by an employee of a fucking gaming magazine, is telling the reader that video games are not as good as their contemporary counterparts. I'm being told that jumping on top of a goddamn Brute and punching his brains out is not as evocative as watching Kat get blown up by a Covenant grenade and lie on the ground with part of the visor on her helmet blown out. I'm being told that watching Elder Scrolls Guy walk through a town to have a giant CGI dragon land in front of him and roar at him is more gripping than killing that very same dragon with nothing but my sword and shield (this one is actually true, by the way, Bethesda games are boring as shit). For all of Capcom's faults, they at least did SOMETHING right with Resident Evil 6 when they used footage from the game for all their trailers.
Is it any wonder why video games are still a joke in adult society? We have industry fucking standards like Microsoft employee Frank O'Connor, who I am ashamed to hear has been with the Halo franchise since its inception, espousing such undermining values. I've long held the belief that video games are the ULTIMATE in art, combining every form you can imagine (traditional art, music, cinematography, storytelling, etc.) and then making it interactive. What are we as gamers supposed to do when our passion, our lifeblood, is playing second fiddle to a lesser form of itself? Do you want to know how to sell Bioshock Infinite? Not with a couple square miles of green screen and shitty CGI.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Raise your hand if you're genuinely terrified for your country.
I was talking to my friend Josh earlier, and he dropped this excellent little gem:
"But I believe at this point, "religion" has become less of an ideal mindset, and more a "get out of jail free card" to exercise bigotry."*
Anyone who knows me well knows I'm an atheist, and therefore not really friend to anyone or anything overtly religious. But I'm not a fanatic. If you're fun and easy-going, I'll be your friend as long as you don’t try to convert me or as long as every second thing that comes out of your mouth isn't Jesus, Allah, or Vishnu.
But the fanatics gunning for office are just dangerous. They very clearly don’t preach love like I KNOW, having grown up Christian for nearly 15 years before I broke off on my own, the Bible does.
For those of you who literally do not know better and are actually considering people like Santorum, Gingrich, or Romney, please, please, use your head for five goddamn minutes and listen to what they are spewing.
*: Please don't start firing off on the exact wording or diction or what-have-you of this quote. The point still stands even if every word wasn't perfect.
*: Please don't start firing off on the exact wording or diction or what-have-you of this quote. The point still stands even if every word wasn't perfect.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Pop quiz!
I have a question for you! How often do people answer my text messages or calls?
A. 100% of the time. There is literally no person more popular than I am.
B. Most of the time. I may only keep a small circle of friends, but that's fine, I like to keep to myself most of the time.
C. Rarely. Getting in contact with people requires double- and triple-checking because apparently I'm not that important.
D. Never. The only reason my number is in anyone's phone but my own is because I snuck their phone out under cover of night and punched my number in. There's a dude from Minnesota who visited Bixby one year who is STILL wondering who the hell Baylor Becker is.
If you answered C, good jorb!
If this comes across as sarcastic and a little bitter, it's because I am! Very often, I'd say at least four times a week, I'll put up a status or Tweet with an open invitation to eat dinner with me, because while I don't like people most of the time, I enjoy conversing over lunch or dinner. I often leave these open invitations because that's the most reliable way for me to get a response.
Even then, when I have friends and family telling me to call or text people (my friends at OU) to get dinner, I've stopped giving actual responses to these questions. I've said multiple times that I tried texting someone, but I didn't get a response. I don't like to call people on the phone because I assume they're doing something, or like 99% of the time I do make a social call, they don't pick up.
I get it, you mean well. But please stop telling me to do what I have been doing.
A. 100% of the time. There is literally no person more popular than I am.
B. Most of the time. I may only keep a small circle of friends, but that's fine, I like to keep to myself most of the time.
C. Rarely. Getting in contact with people requires double- and triple-checking because apparently I'm not that important.
D. Never. The only reason my number is in anyone's phone but my own is because I snuck their phone out under cover of night and punched my number in. There's a dude from Minnesota who visited Bixby one year who is STILL wondering who the hell Baylor Becker is.
If you answered C, good jorb!
If this comes across as sarcastic and a little bitter, it's because I am! Very often, I'd say at least four times a week, I'll put up a status or Tweet with an open invitation to eat dinner with me, because while I don't like people most of the time, I enjoy conversing over lunch or dinner. I often leave these open invitations because that's the most reliable way for me to get a response.
Even then, when I have friends and family telling me to call or text people (my friends at OU) to get dinner, I've stopped giving actual responses to these questions. I've said multiple times that I tried texting someone, but I didn't get a response. I don't like to call people on the phone because I assume they're doing something, or like 99% of the time I do make a social call, they don't pick up.
I get it, you mean well. But please stop telling me to do what I have been doing.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Two things!
I had two leetle revelations today.
Item the First: A cigarette is a bigger turn-off than a Bible for me. Isn't that just wacky!? If I somehow had the balls to walk up to and talk to random chicks, seeing her smoking would put me off to the point where I wouldn't talk to her, whereas a Bible would just discourage me a little. This is related to a post I had a few months back.
Item the Second: I don't think I could date or even get involved with another girl if she weren't a fan of heavy metal. I don't mean Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath, but if she likes those she does have fantastic taste in music. I mean Between the Buried and Me, Lamb of God, Opeth. She has to appreciate some heavy music. Like, if I put on The Great Misdirect and she gets really uncomfortable and asks to put on Bruno Mars or some shit like that, she's gone. Well, probably not. But it'd be hella awkward because she just asked me to turn off one of my favorite bands and I'd refuse to play pop garbage.
Aren't you people glad you read my blag posts?
Item the First: A cigarette is a bigger turn-off than a Bible for me. Isn't that just wacky!? If I somehow had the balls to walk up to and talk to random chicks, seeing her smoking would put me off to the point where I wouldn't talk to her, whereas a Bible would just discourage me a little. This is related to a post I had a few months back.
Item the Second: I don't think I could date or even get involved with another girl if she weren't a fan of heavy metal. I don't mean Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath, but if she likes those she does have fantastic taste in music. I mean Between the Buried and Me, Lamb of God, Opeth. She has to appreciate some heavy music. Like, if I put on The Great Misdirect and she gets really uncomfortable and asks to put on Bruno Mars or some shit like that, she's gone. Well, probably not. But it'd be hella awkward because she just asked me to turn off one of my favorite bands and I'd refuse to play pop garbage.
Aren't you people glad you read my blag posts?
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I don't live in a goddamn soap opera
How many times have I felt "betrayed" or something close to that and then acted cold, cruel, or whatever to the person who I felt wronged me when I was totally wrong and just being melodramatic?
I think it's been something like x out of a x times at this point. I use a variable because I've lost count over the years. I'm gonna be a big boy now and make the count (x-1) out of x times. Yeah. Let's work on that.
I think it's been something like x out of a x times at this point. I use a variable because I've lost count over the years. I'm gonna be a big boy now and make the count (x-1) out of x times. Yeah. Let's work on that.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Skylines and Turnstiles
It's the big day. The tenth anniversary of 9/11. I've never given the date much thought beyond "'Merica!" because, hey, I'm incapable of thinking larger than that.
One of my favorite bands is My Chemical Romance. Call me an emo bitch all you want, you'd only be half right. And that's half wrong. I remember looking at their wikipedia page years ago, probably, and reading their origin story, and how they formed after Gerard Way wrote "Skylines and Turnstiles" in response to the 9/11 attacks. So, in honor of this tragic day in history I decided to listen to it once, because I never have before.
It was very typical of them at the time, grating emo punk rock, almost. I was listening to it on crappy laptop speakers, so I couldn't really pick out the lyrics, but I knew what it was about, and I listened all the way through. So, following that, when I had to take Bryce to work, I decided to pop in my iPod and just listen to all the MCR I had, from Three Cheers up to Danger Days. And SING came on, and I almost burst into tears at the wheel. I'm very, very bad at putting thoughts down into words, more so emotions, so forgive me if this isn't incredibly well put-together.
The lyrics to that song are far, far more pertinent to 2001 than they are today.
I'm not going to quote them right now, the song is right above this text, but they broke something in me thinking about the day, and I was crying for the first time in recent memory. You guys can listen for yourself and see if I'm right.
One of my favorite bands is My Chemical Romance. Call me an emo bitch all you want, you'd only be half right. And that's half wrong. I remember looking at their wikipedia page years ago, probably, and reading their origin story, and how they formed after Gerard Way wrote "Skylines and Turnstiles" in response to the 9/11 attacks. So, in honor of this tragic day in history I decided to listen to it once, because I never have before.
It was very typical of them at the time, grating emo punk rock, almost. I was listening to it on crappy laptop speakers, so I couldn't really pick out the lyrics, but I knew what it was about, and I listened all the way through. So, following that, when I had to take Bryce to work, I decided to pop in my iPod and just listen to all the MCR I had, from Three Cheers up to Danger Days. And SING came on, and I almost burst into tears at the wheel. I'm very, very bad at putting thoughts down into words, more so emotions, so forgive me if this isn't incredibly well put-together.
The lyrics to that song are far, far more pertinent to 2001 than they are today.
I'm not going to quote them right now, the song is right above this text, but they broke something in me thinking about the day, and I was crying for the first time in recent memory. You guys can listen for yourself and see if I'm right.
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